Neptune Square Venus: The Necessary Disillusionment in Relationship

Neptune Square Venus

Neptune Square Venus in Transit and Natal Chart

Neptune archetype is often described by the word “Disillusionment.” While disillusionment can be a difficult experience, it’s a necessary process that accelerates your healing toward having a healthier relationship with yourself and others.

Let’s take a look at Neptune square Venus in transit and in natal chart while specifically focusing on the disillusionment process. This discussion will be especially relevant if you have the hard Neptune-Venus aspect (conjunction, square, quindecile or opposition) in your natal chart, or if your Venus or 7th house ruler is located in 5-9 degrees of Mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces), since Neptune will be transiting it this year.

 

Neptune – Venus in Natal Chart: Flight Into Beauty and Romance

In your natal horoscope, Neptune square Venus suggests an overabundance of romantic and aesthetic needs. Like swooning to Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto, there seems to be a need for aesthetic or romantic intoxication, sometimes to the point of excess or even escapism.

The question to ask is “Why does this need exist?” When did this need to escape into the ideal world of beauty and romance arise?

In childhood, the creative imagination of Neptune is frequently used as a means to escape painful reality. If the early home environment was extremely difficult for you as a child due to one or both of the parents being problematic, then perhaps the beautiful world inside your imagination functioned as the only place of escape for you

Some clients with a hard Neptune-Venus aspect might tell me “Oh I’ve had a good childhood – my father was very loving to us, he was a very good provider”, etc, even though it becomes clear later in the discussion that they hardly spent any time with one or both of their parents, and felt terribly abandoned by them. It’s the Neptunian idealization process at work.

The romantic and aesthetic imagination of Neptune-Venus square can easily form a defense mechanism against undesirable experience of rejection, criticism or abandonment. In its most extreme, Neptune-Venus aspect suggests the denial of the fact that something painful was going on in your early relationship with your family.

Such denial is a setup for later disillusionment, to be triggered by future Neptune transit to Venus or the 7th house ruler.

 

 

Neptune Square Venus in Transit or Solar Arc: Illusion or Inspiration?

In relation to transit or solar arc Neptune square Venus, many astrologers use phrases like “deception in love” or “romantic disillusionment”, which can be alarming if you’re beginning a relationship under this transit. To keep a more balanced perspective about this transit, here is a thought you may want to try out:

 

Neptune transit to Venus or the 7th house ruler tests your relationship to see if your idealized perception about your partner and the relationship is valid.

 

If your perception was based on a fantasy created in your early childhood (see the above section on natal Neptune square Venus), then you may be choosing to blind yourself to important signals that are telling you all is not as it seems in your relationship.

Such signals may include the fact that your partner hardly spends any quality time with you, or that he/she has lied to you before, or that there seems to be a little too much alcohol or drugs involved whenever you’re together.

If the relationship is indeed based on unreality (i.e. you turning a blind eye to unhealthy signals and ending up victimized as a result), then this transit will most likely dissolve the blinder you have on, creating an opportunity to release the pattern of idealization you’ve been holding onto since childhood.

 

 

Bottom Line: Disillusionment Gives Opportunity for Emotional Healing

The most difficult part of the Neptune square Venus transit is to let go of the pattern of unrealistic idealization. In order to do so, you’ll need to let go of the defense mechanism you’ve created as a child (e.g. fantasizing the idealized relationship with the parent of opposite gender), thereby realizing (and feeling the emotions associated with) the truth about your early family life.

The process of disillusionment has a purpose, and its pain is most likely a reminder of how you used to feel as a child, growing up in your home environment. If you are able to fully embrace the pain at its childhood root, the pain will dissolve and the stuck emotional energy, along with the pattern of denial, can be released.

Many people with a strong Neptune aspect lose memory of their childhood, especially if it was painful. If you choose to escape again, even after the disillusionment, into the idealized perception of your life, then your pattern of denial will remain the same, and the disillusionment process will most likely have to repeat itself in the future.

 

 

Conclusion: The Rewards on the Other Side

The process of disillusionment, if successfully embraced, will dissolve the frozen emotional energies that were stuck in your psyche since childhood (unsurprisingly, the released emotions may come out as tears.) This is a tremendous healing opportunity, and takes real courage to go through (a help from a therapist or a counselor might be beneficial.)

As a result, you will end up with much more emotional energy, giving you an increased capacity to relate more fully with others. In addition, because your perception has been clarified, you’ll be able to better “see” others and relate to them on a more authentic level (before then, you were most likely relating to the idealized perception you had of your partner within your mind rather than to the real person.)

Lastly, your increased emotional energy may free up your creative capacity and aesthetic appreciation, so that you can enjoy more creativity, beauty and romance, all the while maintaining a healthy connection with reality.

 

Photo: Abrahim Asad

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